We get a couple thousand posts a day on ActiveRain. You leave tens of thousands of comments every day on each other's posts. It shouldn't shock anyone that every once in a while a comment might be left that could be interpreted in a way other that what the author of the comment meant. I want to share with you a recent comment left by a member that was interpreted very wrong and the potential implications of how it was interpreted.
The comment was left on a post talking about Senator Obama and his choice of running mates this past week. The comment said:
"Seriously, thanks for the welcome... this is very interesting, especially for a guy whose knuckes still scrape when he walks."
Taken out of context it could be thought that the commenter was making a racial slur. A number of members contacted us and suggested as much and said that they were offended. When I first went to review the comment, I immediately thought something different. You see, after doing this job for a while, you start to realize you have to look at things from more than one angle.
So I thought to myself......"self, why did he says 'thanks for the welcome'?" The post wasn't a post welcoming him to AR. And the person who posted the blog had not commented to him directly. Was the commenter new and the person whose post he was commenting on had maybe welcomed him on a different post? I also thought "self, could his knuckles comment mean something else?" Is it possible that he meant that he was technically challenged and was in fact referencing himself with some self depricating humor. Did he mean that he was akin to a Neadrethal since they didn't have computers and this site would have been tough to grasp?
So what did I do? I asked him what he meant. Here is his response.
.....but what I was referring to as interesting was
this site Active Rain, not Obama. XXXX commented to me something about
how interesting this site is and I was just agreeing and that I'm a
dinosaur-technologically speaking, but coming along... something along
that line... I can't retrieve the comment now that he sent me... I'm
really bothered by this. Especially, because of it seeming like a
racist comment. You see, I can't be a racist because I believe we are
all one race. I also respect authority and a Senator trumps a publisher
in my book. I do not throw labels around and tag people with names.
I hope this clarifies a little more.
You can find the entire comments and discussion here, along with an apology from the member, Bob Horning. Mr. Horning was gracious enough to allow me to post about this because I think it's a good lesson in being careful what you write. Bob and I have shared a few emails and something he said was very poignant.
"I didn't realize how many people would be reading these things"
Just remember, lots of people are reading. Thanks again Bob, I really appreciate your allowing me to do this.
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Bob,
As I have said before: If you do not want it on the evening news, do not post it!
Ann
Thanks Bob for the post. While I didn't read Mr. Horning's post, I enjoy posting on AR. I sometimes have a desire to freewheel and drop a feeling or insight that might be a little off of mainstreem. Certainly not intending to offend any one or any class, but my thoughts are not always in lock step with the general public. So if I could echo a piece of your post, it would be to remind all readers that a blog represents the opinion of the writer. Typically they are well designed and thoughtful. However, sometimes it is a regurgitative rant intended to be more purging and cathartic than informative and should be taken accordingly. Thankfully we see much more of the the prior than the latter here.
Thank you for taking the time and asking for clarification. Too many people jump to conclusions and that is how flame wars start. I read it the first time exactly as he intended.
On a separate note, this is exactly why I don't blog about religion or politics!
Bob-
I've made this very comment before about comments and posts in general.
"Think Twice, Type Once"
Hi Bob,
Didn't read that one either myself. However your clarity is of value to us all. Personally I wouldn't want to be part of anything that would be of that nature.
Oh My! It does make me think and be cautious about what and how I say things in either the comments or in a blog.
The thing about commenting & blogging & even emailing is that often it is impulsive and stems from emotion rather than rational, well thought out conversation...I think that is usually how arguments start!
Thanks for the info Bob!
Awesome post, Bob....... I am so glad you are addressing this issue!!
So many people post on here (I am one of them) need to known first
before people jump off to conclusions about them.
I have had my ONE run in with a member of the network and paid the price for it...
The person WOULD NOT and STILL doesn't want to understand me at all...and I accept that.
You cannot be freinds with EVERYONE...it just will not happen.
Understanding people is BETTER than just not liking them....... We are
ALL human with our unique points of view....
=-)
Also what we consider politically correct commenting in todays weather could be considered pretty unreasonable 10 years from now, as our blogs will still be alive and kicking. Dont you wish that all thes politicians had blogs in their youth so we could actually see the transformation they went through over the years.
I can see how that could have been taken the wrong way - - - - - thanks for getting to the bottom of it, Bob :)
Bob - With so many members and equally as many post written on a daily basis, I am glad to see that there is some policing going on. People do jump to conclusion and things can get out of control before getting their facts straight from the source. For that reason, it is best for the commenter to comment professionally or not comment at all because people do read.
In this particular instance, in my opinion, the commenter did not realize that his comment could be taken out of context and he apologized very quickly after it became apparent, which I totally respect him for that - an honest mistake. And from reading the blog you referred to, I'm glad it did not get out of control.
Interesting post. Also so true. Thanks for posting.
Just shows me that people get all hyper-sensitive about stuff without knowing all the facts. Everybody wants to look for an injustice or a wrong doing because Americans love to play the victim.
I think we have to really watch what we post because it is very hard sometimes to get the message across and I also think we need to really watch how we read. There are too many that jump to conclusions before getting all the facts. You will not find me reading, commenting or publishing anything political here. I leave those debates to forums that are for that purpose.
It's refreshing to know that your looked before you leapt. Sometimes we ll have to remember to do that. It's easy to jump to conclusions raher than ask for claification-I think it's something everyone needs to work on, at least I know I do. Not only did this ease the mind of many, but it also stopped the snowball effect before it got too big!
I appreciate your post. There is always a possibility that our comments could be misunderstood. I thought one should add a comment that is related to what's posted, otherwise we should blog about it and express our opinions through that blog. I prefer not to comment on any topic that is remotely related to race, religion, or politics. Like Jo above, those topics are just not my cup of tea. I leave those kind of opinions to the media.
Bob Stewart- fantastic post and point received.
Bob Horning- I think that it's awesome that you allowed Bob to post your response, so we can all learn from this situation... great job!
Great post about thinking on both parts, those who write (posts or comments) and those who read.
So often I re-read something I've written and realized I was assuming others knew exactly what I was thinking...so was not clear in my message.
Sometimes I catch it in time, others...well, people take it the wrong way and vocally!
Live and learn!
BTW, when I read the comment...I assumed he was being self-depreciating about his abilities. Sometimes people are gun shy about issues and assume the worst.
None of the Neanderthals I have seen look anything like Obama :) I like this post. We can't always get "to the heart of the matter", but usually when we do...we find "No Victims; No Villains" at the root. Kudos for going the extra mile on this one.
Bob, Thank you so much for sharing this with us. Although I have been speaking and writing English on and off for about 20 years now (my first language is Farsi), my husband is always worried about how I translate things into English. I am always worried about offending others. I read and re-read my comments more than once. That's why I am never the first commenter on a post. LOL. So if you hear any complaints about this blogger, I promise you it is not intentional.
Who knows. I try not to read between the lines.
Bob - I would also have read it the way that you did (i.e. self-deprecating humor).
Definitely a good reminder that the way something reads in your head isn't the way everyone else will read it. Thanks for this post!
Bob - When I read the comment, I never thought the guy was talking about Obama in the first place, just figured he was talking about himself. It is always interesting how many can read the same thing and see many different meanings.
And as soon as I read it, I assumed that the comment writer was calling himself a knuckle dragger... I guess I need to take off the blinders and be more open to getting offended. Or maybe I should start buying self-wadding panties...
;^ )
Yikes! Maybe that is why I always write less then more. I never know how other people will read what I write. Thanks for the reminder.
Any time the opportunity arises to remind folks to look before they leap (so to speak), it's good to take it. Thanks Bob.
Definitely an issue when commenting on other comments within a post rather than making it obvious (or not) that you're responding to the original post itself. Good thing some others were willing to get to the bottom of it and find out that the person who wrote that comment had no ill intentions.
Certain topics (politicis, religion, race, etc.) tend to be stronger flash points in terms of reader reaction and reponse. While there are some blogs that purposefully try to be confrontational, I don't think we have that in the Rain. This is a good reminder to read posts with grace and an open mind, and try to consider all angles.
I would have also read it as self deprecating. However, there are a good many people out there who won't give you the benefit of the doubt so it's best to stay away from unclear statements especially if your name is attached to it and you earn a living off your name.
Bob...
Very interesting, and so important that we do not make a rush to judgement!
LOL @ Lane!
Bob, welcome to A|R!
Bob,
Thank you for this post!
I have read the blog and comments and I personally do not see how someone would misunderstand the comment and take it as a racial slur! I do not see it! Misunderstandings happen.......a lot! When we write or make comments--people can always put a different "spin" on it! Sometimes the "spin" is to their benefit!
The comment did not personally attack anyone......so why all the commotion! I was personally attacked and I did not report her! When I made the comment, it was not my intention to insult this person, but apparently my question hit a nerve and she took it that way.
While her personal attack to my was hurtful---I took the high road, and ignored it! It was very tempting for me to respond to her personal attacks-but as a professional-I felt that I would only be adding fuel to the fire and not wanting to start a "war of words" like the say-I choose to ignore it!
I like the comment above: think twice-- type once! Just think.......if your client were to be reading your post, what would they be thinking.
As professionals, we should act we accordingly. Making derogatory remarks, name-calling, and personal attacks only makes us look unprofessional and frankly mean-spirited. We are here, at least I am, to learn, grow and share my knowledge, as limited as it may be! I am not here to make enemies!
Sorry about the long comment!
Love and peace!
Yes what you right can bite you if it is taken out of context.
Bob, Personally I think folks just neeed to grow a pair up and quit looking for reasons to be insulted. One does it and the rest just act like lemmings. Oops!!! Did I just say that out loud?
Bob, LOL, I'm laughing at Bryant above. Nothing unusual about that! Without voice inflection, body language and eye contact it will always be more difficult to judge what the written word is attempting to communicate.
I agree with Ardell. Thank you for going the extra mile on this.
Later in the rain~Deb
Part of it is about reading it rather than hearing and seeing it - part of it is knowing a person and what he means. Thanks for asking before judging - we should all do more of that.
Bob.. This is one of the BIG problems with comments, emails, anything that is on paper.. one can never tell the tone the author is taking. I'm glad this matter has been cleared up.
Bob - I certainly hope you contact me if you hear about something I posted. I try to keep in mind who the readers are and what they may misunderstand, but you never know.
Welcome to the rain Bob H.
Bob, This shows your true dedication to all of us, making sure there wasn't a problem. So many do get offended easily and I have learned that we all interpret things differently. Thanks again Bob! I'm glad it turned out the way it did.
Yes, one could easily jump to a different conclusion. I'm glad you checked into it further.
Hi, Bob. Thanks for sharing that. It's a good reminder that when you are reading a comment over the Internet, you can't be sure of the person's tone - or in this case, meaning of their comment. Thanks for the reminder.
Bob~ Thanks for getting to the root of the "perceived" problem. I always give people the benefit of the doubt and don't read into things too much.
Good post. We are happy to see that you guys take these issues seriously - such as terrible negative things like it might have been perceived. And a word of caution to everyone to be careful about what is written.
I believe most of the time people don't mean to be mean or insulting - even though some of the things we type may sound mean or insulting...generally it's just not phrased too thoughtfully. I hope we will give each other the benefit of the doubt more than once, as frequently as needed.
I didn't read all the comments or the whole post for that fact but here's my opinion........
The glass is always half full, when in doubt e-mail and clarify. We are adults and don't need to tattle on each other. I suggest you remove points for whining, finger pointing and over all bad sportsmanship. be good and behave- cheryl
Bob, just goes to show how difficult communications cnan be sometimes without facial expressions, hand gestures, tone of voice, etc. Blog comments and the written word can often be misinterpreted. I know that I've been on both sides of the coin in the past.
A good illustration to make sure what you write is how you want to be remembered. It is important to state your message carefully and take a moment to read it over before you hit "submit comment"
I'm glad you got in touch with him to clarify what he meant. Bob and Bonnie Horning are terrific people, and it would have been a shame if he got strung out to dry before having an opportunity to clarify what was meant. Kudos to you for looking in to it first!
Email is the same. Writers be careful when trying humor or sarcasm, or anything cute. Readers give the benefit of a doubt.
I was thinking of a reply I made before I left work, thinking it might be misunderstood. I went back to change it so the intent is more clear.
It is good to seek clarity.
Richard
Bob- I am so proud of you for going out of your way to clarify what Bob meant. To give the person the benefit of the doubt is the right thing to do especially when we can not actually physically see each other when we are 'talking' online. Passing judgment so quickly is childish and imature. haha, I just judged. Like Bryant says, grow up! and may I add, GET A LIFE!
You did not have to do this, and that is what makes your actions those that are truly appreciated. Thanks.
I thought it was a humorous comment. Some ought to read the screen twice and just lighten up.
Politics should just not be brought into conversations in the professional world, unless you're a politician by trade. it alienates people immediately.
It's unbelievably difficult sometimes, to understand the intent of a text comment. Text doesn't come with the inflections of our voices. You can't tell f someone is being sarcastic unless you really know them. And even then you can't always tell. I guess we should give people the benefit of a doubt and ask clarifying questions. We have to do it in business if we're working with someone from another country, where the inflections are placed in different places of their words. Why don't we offer the same courtesy to other bloggers?
Bob it is interesting how things can get taken out of context and it can ruffle a few feathers. It is good to know the real meaning behind the comments. You were smart in not jumping to conclusions.
Did BB say Lemons? Well if that's the case then he left me with a sour taste in my mouth:)
I was surprised the first time that I read a blog on politics on a board for real estate professionals. I am still surprised that the original post referenced here was not members only.
I for one did not understand the referenced comment and just skipped over it.
Thanks for the clarification BoB S. and welcome to the "rain" Bob H. :-)
Using "smilies" can indicate your tone...on occasion.
Lane......self wading panties! hahaha Some people are looking for a fight aren't they!
Bob, I can't begin to imagine how many people have trouble saying what they mean without being or sounding offensive, and how many people can read into a comment something that isn't there. I just give them all the benefit of the doubt and move on. I skipped over the link as well....much too many other things to talk/think about. ;-)
Far too often - especially in politics, people are looking for an alarm to raise. Doesn't matter if an offense was meant - if someone can make a big deal out of it they will.
I write about politics, however, all opinions are welcomed on my blogs...if they are respectfully written. that being said...nothing is disrespected and it is for all opinions. It's for healthy conversation...and for venting...is there something wrong with a healthy conversation? After all the next generation that run's our government also will govern how the Real Estate market will sink or swim...at least that's my humble opinion. Never trying to raise issues...maybe I do...however...it's just for a healthy conversation and for the most part, it's member's only...just for opinions. I like opinions, once in a while, someone will post "something to think about" that I might have not considered...and I like that. It makes me re-think. Is that bad? Being open minded in my humble opinion is a good thing.
In a society whose media is ruled by "sound bites" making extra sure that anything can't be chopped up into snippets taken out of context can be a real challenge!
I did not read all of the comments. I do remember seeing this comment and my first thought was that he was referring to himself as being behind the times. I also believe there is only one race.